First, the good news. The toilet you see here is a dying breed in Korea.

New Korean public buildings and apartments almost always have western toilets these days. But the chances are that at some point in your Korean year or two, you're going to have to use one of these "squatter closets." Older public buildings still have them (and your hagwon might, as Margaret's did). Railway and bus stations usually have both Asian and western toilets, but some older ones have only the squatters.

Asians consider squatters more sanitary because your bum doesn't touch anything. (Obviously not. It's hanging out there in the middle of the air.) Korea is also the land of ppalli, ppalli (hurry, hurry) and squatters encourage speed and efficiency - you don't take a magazine into the loo when it's fitted with one of these gadgets.

So, on the assumption that you'll probably run into a few of these while you're in Korea, here are some tips.

There was a time when Korea was infamous for some of Asia's dirtiest public restrooms. Say what you will about Korea, they tend to respond quickly to negative publicity. They also tend to go a little overboard. These days, it's not surprising to find vases of flowers in public loos, and cleaning ajomma now are a lot more common in both women's and men's restrooms. What I'm leading up to here is that if they're mopping, don't expect them to leave the restroom just because you enter one of the stalls.

For all the improvements, public restrooms still may or may not supply toilet paper. Those that do may have a dispenser outside the toilet stalls, but none inside. Look around before you get settled in a stall, and grab some if need be. In cheap restaurants, they sometimes don't bother with TP in the restroom, in which case you'll have to grab some from the usual roll on the table or the dispenser on the wall. This does double duty as paper napkins. (I'm going to act like I didn't hear you say "bleah." You'd better get over that squeamishness before you leave for Korea, or you'll never be able to eat the fish heads - which, according to our friends, they save for us because they're the best part. ;-)

It's not a bad idea to carry a pocket-pack or two of tissues with you, especially when you're traveling. (When we were there, the Kangnung gas stations gave these away free with each purchase as "service." We soon found out what they were good for.) Also, a little bottle of hand sanitizer is worth bringing over. Quite a few restrooms don't provide towels, some don't have soap, and a few, mostly in the boonies, don't even have sinks.

Using a squatter closet: If you carry your wallet in your back pocket, transfer it to a side pocket before dropping your pants. Stuff with straps, such as camera cases and shoulder bags, you can hang from your neck if there's no hook in the stall (which is fairly likely).

Don't drop your pants too far. All the way down to your ankles, and not only will they get dunked in anything that might be on the floor (stop making faces) but they may also, uh, get in the line of fire if you're not careful. Roll up the cuffs if necessary.

The part that rises from the floor is the front (call it the hood). This makes sense if you think of a little boy's potty. Face the hood and stand over the rest of the squatter, with your feet on either side of it, beside or just behind the hood. Drop your pants to half-mast, and tuck the waistband under your knees as you squat down.

Before you put your toilet paper in the toilet, look around the stall. Often there's a metal or plastic can with a pop-up or lift-up lid. If so, that's where your used TP goes. If you put it in the toilet, you're apt to clog the plumbing, which will upset the building maintenance people, who will then think glowering thoughts about westerners. The TP can usually smells pretty fetid, so hold your breath when you pop the top.

For more suggestions and background on squatter closets, see this page on Japanese toilets. There's also a link on that page to step-by-step illustrated instructions which are much more entertaining than mine.